At some point you have to give up the ‘DAISY DUKE’ shorts.

SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us ‘Old Folks’ (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 60) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo’s and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

I’d like to thank my friend Wendy who sent this to me this morning…but Wendy…I’m not in the THAT age category thank you very much!

Just added…thought this appropriate too!

My husband is a huge fan of Bunnings. For those of you who may not be familiar…Bunnings is a huge hardware store that stock everything from plumbing accessories to paint and garden furniture.

Anyway…my husband and I have been busy preparing my son & daughter-in-laws unit for their return from Kalgoorlie, and for the arrival of the baby (thats a whole other blog in the making!) and we’ve started the arduous task of re painting.

So picture this…there’s my husband standing at the paint counter waiting patiently for the paint color to be mixed. Another customer (lady) was also waiting at the counter when a guy pulls his trolley (shopping cart) up beside hers. My husband glances over towards them both and the lady looks up and rolls her eyes. The guy then starts a conversation something like this:

Guy: You know I want you
Lady: Well you cant have me
Guy: But why?
Lady: Because I dont want you
Guy: But I have to have you
Lady: Stiff…you cant!

My husband looks at the Bunnings staff member behind the paint counter and he appears to be totally oblivious to the conversation taking place right in front of him. My husband is praying that the paint wont take much longer to mix. But the conversation continues…

Guy: I need you so bad
Lady: I dont care
Guy: Please let me have you
Lady: I told you no!
Guy: I cant live without you
Lady:Well you should have thought about that before you stuck ya dick in her!

My husband by this stage was looking around for some kind of sign from the Bunnings staff member that he hadn’t just imagined that conversation…but nothing!. He was even beginning to think it was ‘Candid Camera’ and checked the shelves and rafters for the hidden cameras. Apparently the conversation went on for another few minutes before my husbands paint order was ready and then he high tailed it away from the paint counter and off to finish his shopping not believing what he’d just heard.

But, low and behold when he gets out into the carpark there they both are…cars parked side by side and him still begging forgiveness and her still saying no!

I think it was the shortest trip to Bunnings my husband has ever had…and he certainly got his money’s worth!